Work School Work School Easter

So after being on my death bed for a week I got back into getting to work and going to school. I was deffinatly thrown off. I was so behind on all my classes, wasn't there to take notes or understand anything, and I was broke from not being able to work. So I thought to myself oh well shit happens. Well a lot of shit happened. I never realized how much work it was to take care of a 10 month old (who is getting WAY to big for her own good), work more than 40 hours a week as a server at a beautiful fine dining restaraunt in wrightsville, and taking just three classes in school. Well to my psychology is like taking 4 classes because its so freakin confusing. Anyway, I can deffinatly say having this little break from work and celebrating Easter with my family, and my daughter was deffinatly well needed. Everything I do is for her, as well as most single mothers out there can relate. It's hard, but to come home everyday and see the smile on my girls face deffinatly makes it all worth it. I wouldn't have it any other way. People always said when you become a mother, good luck tryin to get a good nights sleep. That is no joke. But it's well worth it. I love my girl, love my life. Gotta keep goin.

Fresh Flowers and Vomit

So I know the title of this blog is a little gross, but It really describes the last couple days for me. I had a terrible stomach virus, couldn't be around my baby for 2 days in fear of her getting this. I honestly felt like death. I alway overreact, and I deffinatly exagerate; however, I did feel absolutly terrible. I wouldn't wish this upon anyone. On the brighter side though, I am so blessed to have a wonderful boyfriend. Bought my two dozen roses just because I wasn't feeling good, and he even held my hair when I puked. I swear I have myself a keeper. It's finally saturday and I am feeling better, the outside air is beautiful, the wind isn't too strong. I am so excited to see my girl. She is growing so fast. 10 months came too too quick. She says "kitty!" all the time, and of corse mama. she is my little angel. I am so blessed to have her. I love life. I must say, spring time just puts me in an all together good mood.

Fahrenheit

So I started this book a while ago, and I really can't seem to get past like the first word. I mean, I have gotten passed the first word, but my mind hasn't. I feel like this book is so incredibly detailed, its hard to read. I like detailed books, but I have to be interested in them. In this book, nothing has captured my eye yet; therefore it's very hard for me to read. I am not quite sure what I am going to do. Everytime I sit down to read it, my mind wonders and I can't seem to get further than one or two pages a day.

Life is good

So i recentley started renting a townhouse in york. I never knew how much work renting something would be. I remember when I was younger and I was living with my parents I was constantly asking my mom why she was cleaning on the days she had off. I thought she should just relax and take a day off. Well, now I know how she feels. It seems like everytime I pick something up, and clean, 20 minutes later my house is a mess. It doesn't help that I have a 10 month old who is constantly behind me terrorizing everything that I clean. I wouldn't have it any other way though. I love the life that I live. I have a good job, good friends, and I am constantly around the people that I love. Being on my own is a lot of stress, I think that I took a lot for granted when I was living with my parents. They were constantly helping me take care of my daughter. It's a lot of work, but I know that I can do it on my own. I love living with her. I live with an amazing boyfriend who hellps me out a lot too. I can't wait to see what the future has in store for me. I believe everything happens for a reason. I feel like with all the bullshit that I dealt with for so long, its all finally coming together.

New Beginnings

Most people hit a rough spot in their lives and they think its the end of the world. Well, that was me about two months ago. I had trouble with my family. I was trying to raise my daughter on my own living in my parents house. That was really hard for me to deal with because I couldn't raise my daughter, everyone was. I always was being critisized about the things I was doing beccause it wasn't what my parents did when we were growing up. I would get extremely frusterated because I wanted to teach my daughter different things then what my family taught me. Not that they raised me badly, but some people just want to raise their children their way. I know I do. I have to be thankful though because I don't know what I would do without my family and their support for me. I go to school, work, and raise my daughter. Things at home were getting pretty tense because there was a lot of stress. I decided that I needed to get out on my own, live on my own to raise my daughter and have a family. I want her to be excited when I tell her that we are going to Grandma and Pops. I really wasn't sure on how I was going to survive on my own, but once I decide I am going to do something, I make sure I do it. I started looking for an apartment, and signed a lease and moved into my new townhouse all within days. I haven't been this happy in a long time. I have my daughter, and an amazing boyfriend that are here with me. I love all the time I get to spend with my girl without having someone look over my shoulder everytime I do something. I am a big believer in everything happens for a reason, I love my life and the changes I am going through. I feel that it will just make me stronger and give my daughter a solid foundation to grow on. Ilove new begginnings.

Don't know.

I really don't even know what I want to write about today. I signed a lease on an apartment. Its now all coming together for me, and I am quite happy. I have the stresses day to do of school, work, and my daughter, and now I took on this. What the hell was I thinking. But in the same sence, I am happy with the choice that I made and feel like this decision will be the best on in the long run. I have been running around like crazy today. My daughter is sick, and I haven't seen her all day. I work constantly, and if im not working im at school. I finally got a day with just my girl and I and I played with her all day. I love spending time with her. She is getting too big too fast. I can't even imagine what it is going to be like when she is a year old, or two years old. She already has such a personality.

What have schools come to today

I was watching the news last night, and there are so many things on there that piss me off. I don't even know why I watch it. The information can sometimes help my understanding on what is going on, however, I ask myself time and time again what are we coming to. I was watching the story about a girl named Phoebe who moved to Massachusetts from Ireland and committed suicide by hanging herself in her closet. She was a victim of bullying. She had girls texting, e-mailing her, as well as saying things and throwing things at her. There have been many cases like this such as Megan Meier who, in 2006, killed herself after her former friends mother actually made a fake profile to harass this girl. This week in Lewisville, Texas, a 9 year old boy hung himself in his elementary school. Another one in Massachusetts in the past year was an 11 year old boy who had hung himself with an extension cord after bullies called him gay time and time again. Seriously, what is going on with the children we are raising today? I remember going to school, which wasn't too long ago and never even worrying about that. It was starting then, I do remember how we had bullying policies, but never something like this. I am scared for my daughter to even send her to public school, what will it be like in 5 years. Parents need to start enforcing manners and teaching their children that this is not OK. I think people don't take this seriously and that's what pisses me off. Children, teenagers, even adults are committing suicide because they are being bullied. This has got to stop, our children are the future, and I want mine to survive.